Hi, Naarel here, as always! Since this is the last game of the year, I thought I'll actually write a quick postmortem for it. Why not, I guess.

Slaying the beast (a ranked jam)

You're doing Velox Fabula? I could never.

It's pretty cool but 1. I'd die 2. it's ranked so I'm scared

So, naturally, the same guy (me, of course it's me) who said that joined an even shorter, still ranked version of that jam. Makes sense.

Truth be told, I forgot it was a ranked jam - if I remembered, I'm not quite sure if I would join. What I remembered was that the theme drops with the beginning of the jam and that you have four days to put everything together. I wasn't scared of the time frame: I made Pride and Shibboleth in about a day, after all, and the thought of having a cool theme to work with made me excited. Obviously, I went around to ask people if I should join, and almost everyone said Naarel you're fucking insane why would you do this to yourself.

So I waited for the theme announcement until 1am to see if I can come up with a proper story. I told myself that if I can't come up with a storyline in five minutes after the theme announcement, I simply won't participate. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, my head is filled with three billion terabytes of lore at all times, so there's always a story to be told, and this time was no different.

You gotta do it alone, you gotta do it all on your own~

I like doing short projects alone. I treat them as experiments, a way to push myself, check things, have fun. I'm no visual artist, I'm no composer, but I love to try - besides, maybe I'll end up being decent some day? It's practice that makes perfect... or, well, acceptable. I do art and music on my phone - not the peak professional setup, but that's how I do things, this is what's most comfortable for me. 

Also, it's kinda too late to gather a team for a four day jam after it began. Well, guess I had to go alone even if I didn't want to. I don't do a lot of things in life right now, so I could totally spend my days on writing, composing, drawing, all that kind of stuff.

Can you guess which part of the Ill-gotten Light's development took the most time?

That's right!

Constantly googling if I really, truly, fully understand what morally ambiguous means and worrying if my story will even fit the jam theme. Well, okay, I am exaggerating, but it took a considerable amount out of the time I spent on IL. I'm not a native English speaker. I am constantly googling to check if the words I use really mean what I think they mean, and by this I mean that I check in several online dictionaries. ~~In case you catch me using the wrong word, I was probably delusional and thought I don't need to check.~~ After I made sure that I understand the theme I went back to work... then rechecked again, just to make sure. And maybe once more. And... you get the gist of it.

I won't be getting too deep into the technicalities of making it all; I will be honest with you that I mostly don't remember what I did and why. Instead, I'll explain a couple of things, plot-wise, since this is the only thing I can talk about in a bit more detail.

The Hero's [citation needed] Journey

If you're familiar with Oneironverse's main entries, you know that the Hext family is fucked up. If you're not familiar with them, well: Hext family is fucked up. While they see themselves as noble heroes and keepers of knowledge, they're anything but. Their legacy, which they're so obsessed with, is written in blood, tears and, ironically, broken dreams. And you know, the fact that from time to time, being a part of this family means you have to commit ritualistic murder in cold blood can really go out of control and it definitely has to have an impact on every generation.

Just fucking go to therapy I beg you.

Hexts with their skewed moral compass were a perfect fit for the theme of this jam. But which Hext in particular could fit? Yeah, I could just make a guy and throw the massive burden of the Morally Ambiguous Promise onto their shoulder, but there was one problem with this: I'll get attached to them.

I can't just make a guy and leave it at that. No. Every guy I make will, inevitably, gain a backstory. Where's the problem with that? Well, I didn't have time to make up a new guy and think about every facet of their life, as I always do. The thing about Hexts is that they are very much defined by their family and the relationship they have with it, and so, I would inevitably start thinking about who their family is exactly, and from that point, I'd start to think about the family tree and how far away they are from Blythe and Meredith, and from that point- I just can't just write a guy, that's the point. So, what's the solution?

Simple! I don't make a guy. I let the player make a guy.

Lore-wise, this particular person got erased from the family records for- well, you can make up that reason too! And so, player chooses the name so I don't have to think about it. Badabing, badaboom, done!

But wait! Hexts have a naming scheme! See, the whole legacy and genealogy and shit are so important that it reflects in how they are named. They all have a second name, one that they get from their same-sex parent. Like, you know, Meredith Ann Hext is Meredith, daughter of Ann; Alfred William Hext is Alfred, son of William. Now what? Do I have to make up the parent's name? But then, I'll have to determine MC's gender, or at least what they were assigned at birth, and I'll probably get attached to the parent once I name them, and-

Nope, there was a way. A letter is chosen randomly somewhere around the time player chooses their name. And so, it's [name], child of [random letter]#####. Why 6 letters implied? Because most names, apparently, are somewhere from 5 to 7 letters long, at least in the West afaik. 

And to make extra sure that I don't get attached, I didn't specify the precise year in which it all happened. It's somewhere between 1000 AT (After Tragedy, somewhat an equivalent of our AD; "Tragedy" is basically Atlantis sinking, but it was for real.) and 1799 AT. Pharmakon's clothing is specifically this weird cloak thing so you can't really tell what's the timeframe by looking at clothing. Speaking of which...

The red is bright, so hard to define... so much despair, so many curses

There's a village struggling with a problem, caused by a beast. A noble hero vows to kill the beast. They do so, the problem disappears, everyone is fine again. End of the story. We all grew up with stories like these; it's somewhat ingrained within us. We like to see the good guys win. This is why superhero stories are still so popular.

I remember reading a post once. It said that sometimes, a villain does wrong things, but for a good reason: they see a problem and react to it in their own, evil or ambiguous, way. It also pointed out that often, the hero's job is only to destroy the villain, without addressing the underlying issue. The whole evil is being placed on one person and their execution equates to the end of the problem.

Scapegoat is the right word, no? Here comes the concept of a pharmakos - a human scapegoat, someone who was chosen to either be executed or exiled in order to purify the rest of the city. Y'know. One person, taking everyone else's faults.

Oooh Naarel but you called them Pharmakon, not Pharmakos- Yep! Those are two different words, but they are similar on purpose. Hell, they are related. See, pharmakos was meant to heal the people by taking all of that bad stuff away from them. Pharmakon is a word that can mean medicine. It's a sacrifice for healing, one may say. 

But pharmakon can also mean poison.

In the earliest plans for Oneironverse, I referred to this character exclusively as Scapegoat, however, as their role in the story changed, it no longer became fitting. Well, it did fit, but not as well as Pharmakon did. They are the cure, they are the poison; they can keep the Nightmare away from others but they can also send it. 

Pharmakon's appearance is meant to be somewhat inhuman. They have horns. The mask covers their entire face, so you can't catch a hint of emotion. The colors of the light, appearing in place of their eyes, are unnatural on purpose - yellow and red (and if you thought that red meant being mad, nope; it's just intense emotion). The main character refers to them as "it", "beast", "creature". Dehumanization is commonly used to try and justify horrible acts committed against others. This is the beast that needs to be sacrificed, this is the source of all evil which has to be slain. 

We see the hero going against the beast as good; this is what tales are like. When a hero promises to get rid of the beast, it's a good promise, right? 

That's the thing: it's hard to tell, in this case. Yes, you're helping the people of the town, in a way, but... there's still the unaddressed issue underneath, one that you aren't prepared to face. While the people stop suffering, the relief is only temporary; you still perpetuate a cycle that will lead to them suffering again. 

Do I make sense still? I'm so tired

I had more to say but to be honest, I am tired. This was my last project for the year. I'm glad I managed to do it. I'm glad I could share this story with you. I'm glad I could do a ranked jam and I'm taking it... uh... somewhat well?

I don't know how to end things like these, so, just have the summary of Ill-gotten Light experience.

See you in Ivehorn again in 2024!

Yours, Naarel