WARNING

This work contains scenes with loss of bodily autonomy and mildly suggestive language... and obviously, murder. Proceed with caution.

You're an Inspector for Vardyger Corporation, the largest technological company among the stars. As an Inspector, you sacrificed your entire life to uphold Vardyger's supremacy by destroying counterfeit products, smashing competition to bits, taking care of rogue facilities and making sure that nobody stands in the way of progress and order.

But your time is up now - someone hacked his way into your brain... and there's nothing you can do to stop him from completely frying it.

A short story for Murderboy Mayhem Jam 2024.

StatusReleased
PlatformsHTML5
Rating
Rated 4.6 out of 5 stars
(11 total ratings)
AuthorNaarel
GenreVisual Novel
TagsCrime, Kinetic Novel, Narrative, Sci-fi, Short

Comments

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(+1)

This was actually really fun! I ADORED Rogue as soon as he started talking, and the whole set up is super creative! I would love to hear more about this world! EXCELLENT JOB!!

Not to be that guy, but this seems like the creators power trip... that I am at the recieving end of. Who would want to experience this?

(+2)

Hi hi! This comment really intrigues me on a personal level. Could you please elaborate on what made you think it's "creator's power trip"? I'm asking unironically and sincerely.

As to "who would want to experience this" - well, I think nobody really wants to experience having their brain fried in the first place. This is meant to be somewhat unpleasant. I thought that the last line of the description made it clear enough that it's an unavoidable outcome? Please tell me if it wasn't, perhaps I should update it accordingly. Also, the second person narrative isn't really for immersion; it's present here because I tend to use it in order to not define a character. I understand that people don't sit in my head, though, and that my intent may not be very clear.

(-2)

Hey, thanks for reaching out.

First of all, why is this "meant to be unpleasant"? I thought I was playing a game. I am not entitled to one of course, but nobody likes a unplesant game.

Second of all, this is not a game. Visual novel's at least give you a chance to express yourself, dialoge options or something. I am getting punished for something I literally did not do. If this was a game and I deserved this trought objectively evil path, then I would understand that it would be unpleasant by design.

I am getting belittled by a person I do not know, I am getting tortured, brain splattered and its just annoying. The other person is having a power trip and I am sitting there . And something about capitalism? Look man I am leftist too but there is such better ways of critising the right other than saying "You are evil". Just seems one dimentional.  Give me something to feel undecisive about, give me a option to like.. say something. Let me actually INTRACT with something. Let me say "Yeah sorry for being that" or "Yes down with communism you filthy hacker!" I dont know dude, let me do something. This is just reverse power tripping, no? ( And yes, the pfp of yours looks intrestingly similar to that hacker.)

 I just geniunely did not like the experience. Thats my critisism, sorry if you take this personally. Maybe I am being too harsh on new game devs, idk

(+1)

Don't worry about being too harsh, you certainly weren't that and I don't feel attacked or hurt in any way. I ask because I genuinely want to know the opinion of people who play/read my stuff in order to improve later down the road.

Why is it meant to be unpleasant? I genuinely think that there's something interesting in exploring unpleasant scenarios, that's all. It's a bit selfish from me, I suppose, but I mostly write for myself, and then just release it into the world, since people sometimes enjoy it for some reason. You say that nobody likes an unpleasant game, but statistically, the most unpleasant games I ever wrote tend to be the most popular ones. I guess it all boils down to personal tastes? I completely understand if the things I make aren't for everyone (and I actually keep reminding people that they shouldn't read my works if they're uncomfortable with certain topics).

You can say this is not a game; to be fair, I wouldn't call it one either. I chose the "visual novel" designation because of the format the story is presented in is reminiscent of the way traditional VNs are formatted. There's "kinetic novel" tag attached to this game because it doesn't have any choices on purpose. You are powerless in this situation and the brain frying is inevitable, therefore I thought implementing choices would take away from hammering that point home. However, I do agree that the story could be better with some dialogue choices in there! I might look into that and maybe make a better edition in the future. I also agree that the issue's not presented in a very nuanced matter. Still, I need to say that I don't see visual novels as a "way to express yourself" as a player, but more like a vehicle with which a story is told. That's a personal philosophy thing though, I suppose.

Before I answer the last point, I'm going to say this. It's fine to dislike the experience! I don't consider it a particularly polished or well-made work either, but it's been made on a VERY short notice. Not that it excuses lack of quality and such, but it's an explanation for some things. I just made it for fun in a very short timeframe, according to the theme of the jam which revolves around men/men-adjacent characters who have a drive to kill and will act on it. If it's not for you, that's absolutely fine and I understand it. Also, thank you for taking your time to tell me what you disliked in a polite way! I'm making notes for the future projects.

Now, to the power trip part. I like to explore a variety of character types in my works to try and understand mindsets different than my own, and this includes people who are terrible. Rogue is no different; I wrote him because I wanted to explore an eccentric murder guy mindset (which probably didn't come across that well, considering how surface level it was...). This story is Rogue's power trip, I can't deny that; he killed many people before, he'll kill many people in the future, and he's never been caught or stopped. But this is Rogue's power trip, not mine. I didn't deliver a lot of enjoyment from putting myself in this scenario, I don't particularly want to be in Rogue's place here. I'm not Rogue. As to profile picture similarities: they might seem similar because they're made out of simple shapes. The character in my profile picture is called Little Guy, and they're my persona that I use for my dev "work". For every game premiere, I switch the Little Guy for a game-specific variant: in case of te/ra/to/ma and ROGUE, it's a monochromatic, dithered variant, consistent with Decker aesthetic (usually, Little Guy is rendered in color!). Little Guy design was also made way earlier than Rogue's. Little Guy's made out of a face for a circle and a rectangle for body; they don't have ears or mouth, and their eyes are lines. Rogue's a bit more "realistic" with his body shape, he has ears (though in the wrong place, so you might not notice it on the first look lmao) and mouth, and his eyes are ovals. They're only similar because their designs are simple on purpose, but other than that, I can't see anything else. 

Either way! Thank you for taking your time to reply to me. Sorry for the essay, too.

(+3)

No need to apologise for the essay, thank you a lot for the insight. I guess it really is a matter of personal preference. Thanks for clearing things up!

(+3)

Great story! Left me leaving wanting to know more about this game world.  Could be a great bigger story kind of plot. Great job. 

(+3)

This was really cool! The animated background behind the avatar was a great touch. The final screen hit me like a brick wall. Loved it!

This is a cool concept and quite a handful of content considering how early on in the already-short game jam it is. Good work

I love this!  Got a kick out of that hitman he/it man joke.

What engine did you make this in?

(+1)

It's Decker!

Got it, I thought it might be but I wasn't sure!